plus three (part 1).

2.1.2012
we officially started the baby dance on october 30th, 2011. it was crazy and exciting and romantic and hopeful. since we know we're as ready as we'll ever be, i stepped it up by ordering an ovulation predictor kit (opk). it sounds clinical and sterile, but from my research, it was one of the most hassle free ways to predict my fertile window. fuuuurrrtile. i've now added that to my list of words i take issue with, such as 'moist.'
we're now on our 4th month during the roller coaster known as the two week wait (tww) between fertile times and aunt flow's arrival. even though we're still considered at the beginning of what can be a long process, during the tww, i've become slightly extremely aware of every twinge, cramp, tired moment & otherwise noticeable change. here are some gems.
- the first month. i had three migraines in a row within a week. i consulted the google doctors who said all the hormone fluctuations could lead to that. i wondered if we nailed it on the first attempt! (pun intended)
- the second month. i really kicked it up with my paranoia. every single thing became abnormal for that month. that is until my period arrived.
- the third month. i came home from work and took a 2 hour nap. i also had really crazy vivid dreams. that combined with the cramps, and i was definitely pregnant. then the bitch came again.
- the fourth month. here we are. i just woke up from a nap. i'm feeling twinges in my lower abdomen. i'm crazy gassy, but that's not unusual. (ooo, too much?) and i've had all of these exact "symptoms" before. except this weird left eye twitching. oh but that started way before we even started trying. drats.
so. it took me 4 months to learn to not be hypersensitive until i miss my period and get a positive pregnancy test. and really, i haven't even learned that. but with 4 months under my belt, i do have a barometer of what's not abnormal. so i've toned down the over analyzing, and i'm calling that a small victory. here are other things that have helped.
- my awesome mister. david has been so super fantastic throughout this process. understanding when i painstakingly describe each weird thing that could increase our chances. understanding when i describe each symptom and what it could & couldn't mean. it makes me so excited to have a family with someone who tolerates my crazy.
- blogs. reading blogs through google searches has been surprisingly helpful. just the sense that there's a community out there that's also trying is a warm feeling. it's nice (and weird) that all these complete strangers are cheering you on. they even sign their comments with "baby dust to you all." wait, have i just joined a cult?
- patience. when i can find it in me, i try not to obsess. all the blogs say to enjoy the time you have without a baby. so this is me. being patient.....