everyone else is doing it...

so i thought i'd get laid off too!

since it all went down yesterday, my mind's been busy.

stressed. shocked. sad. deflated. unwanted. embarrassed. anxious.

i was told my position will be eliminated as of february 12th at which time it will be transitioned to another location. i was also told that until february 12th, i'm going to help transition those people who will be taking my job at which point i wanted to throw a big ol' temper tantrum and tell them what a shitty decision they're making and how impossible it is to care about properly training the yahoos that are stealing my position (oh my, i ran the hell on out of that sentence.). i wanted to yell at them and warn them of how much they're going to miss me.

but instead, i just listened to the script about the consultant group's recommendation to 'eliminate' the atlanta accounting team. i listened to how this wasn't about my performance. it was about 'streamlining processes and gaining efficiencies.' i kept my mouth shut. i nodded. i dropped tears. i said i had no questions. and i just walked out of the ugly-ass conference room.

it sucked really hard for the first couple of hours. mostly because i stress about paying my mortgage, but also because of my whole ego business. i'd rather not think about how easily replaceable i am. but i guess i'm just an accountant. i should've been a rocket scientist.

after a few hours of collecting my thoughts and tallying my credentials, i eased up a bit. i went for a nice, long, squirrel-free (read: stress free) walk with bella. i had a superb dinner with my family complete with my parents driving up to surprise me to join in the cheering up. it was lovely. and the wine made it lovelier.

and today's a new day, a new dawn, a new life, and i'm feeling good. ok, that's not all truly the way i feel, but i take any chance i get to plug my nina. and i will start feeling good sooner than later. hearing from optimistic recruiters and supportive friends makes the gloominess and doominess so much more bearable.

2010, you think you're so cool throwing in a wrench right at the beginning of my year. i'll show you.